Inexplicable emotions... juss sayin

I know I should hate him for all of the pain he has caused me; he has broken my heart so many times that I have stopped keeping track (thank you Michael Buble), but I can't help myself.  I am truly in love with him.  He is the best worst thing that has ever happened to me.  Please God, let my dreams become a reality in regards to the man of my dreams.  I have never loved someone so much in my entire life.